Another depressing post?

Damn...This is not how I expected my blog to turn out. I EVEN SAID "WOOT" IN MY FIRST POST!! Damn. I guess this really can't be helped.

So yeah, here's a report of what happened, with video I think, of it.

http://www.ksat.com/news/9711154/detail.html

Ok, here's what happened. First day of school was yesterday. Since I'm not done with high school yet, and don't want to go back to my old high school, I go to Northside Excel Academy. Well, its a small school divided into two blocks, morning block and afternoon block. I go to the afternoon block, which is smaller then morning, so I notice some people missing. Since right now there are only people from last year who didn't finish attending, our group is small enough to notice one person missing. Especially if that one person is loud. So I noticed Derek was missing. I figured at the time, "Maybe he's just missing the first day back." Nothing big or strange about that. I know he didn't finish but he was attending both morning and afternoon blocks to finish up and get his diploma. I'm not thinking too much of it.

So class starts around 1:30 p.m. and I go to my advisory/English teacher to get started again. Well a few of the girls whom Derek talked to alot were suddenly pulled out of class by the counselor after being talked to by our teacher. I only heard part of the converstation between them and noticed a few things. I only heard due to the small class and little talking so even though they were quiet, it was still easy to hear. It was about Derek. How our teacher didn't remember shaking his hand or how at the very last day of summer school, and for everyday of summer school, he attended till the very last second, even a little after. A little FYI, our summer school last from last day of school till around end of June and we could leave school anytime and not even have to show up. Derek did. Stayed the full four hours and went everyday.

Well, after the girls leave, the rest of us get to work signing whatever paperwork that we need to fill out again. We all check where we were since the last time we came to school in our classes. I'm taking the second half of English 4 so I need a litrature book. I go to the office to get one assigned to me and notice the two girls that left our class earlier in the counselor office, one of the crying tremedously. So I ask one of the ladies there, "What's going on? Why are they crying?" She only tells me that she can't talk about now and I'll find out soon enough. I tell her, "Its ok. I don't need to know. I can wait. After all, I need to get caught up again."

Now I get back to class and notice a few other people shedding a few tears, one of them being a guy who is trying more successfully to hold back a full cry. I remember that these are the people who talked with Derek on a daily basis at school and were pretty close. And Derek still isn't here and is pretty much a hush-hush topic now so I draw up a few conclusions: 1) Something happened and he's in the hospital. 2) He's dead. Harsh and not looking to the positve side but that was the only thing that popped up in my mind at the time.

Before long they call us up to the office to get our new school ID pictures taken. After taking mine, I notice a few of our classmates not here but still in the classroom. One guy, who came after a few of us to take pictures, looks pretty down. He whispers to me, "Hey, did you know Derek?" I thought he said 'Garret' and I always assumed that Derek's name was 'Eric' so I shook my head no. After giving a brief description of Derek, I remembered him and mentally twacked myself for getting the names 'Derek' and 'Eric' messed up, the guy responds, "Yeah well he's dead. Died in a car accident...On the way to school."

"So I was right," I thought. "Great...had to have option #2 right...fuck..."

After the few of us got our pictures taken, we went back to class. Obviously, now with the gained information, I see why everyone seems sad. That a bit more pissed off at the unwanted cameras from local news stations, though I had to admit that they were a bit rude. For something like this to happen on the first day of school is something that journalists seem to thrive for. It makes for interesting news but at the cost for the ones grieving. In fact, one of the the guys who came kept telling the cameraman to get a picture of the sign "Welcome back to school" in the front. Hell, if I actually knew Derek better, I would have probably been pissed off enough to actually have broken the camera and punch the guy in the face, not the cameraman but the guy talking. Even our teacher was about to do that but he though they got permission to film inside the school. However, it wasn't until after that he found out, and told us today, that they in fact didn't get permission and just filmed.

Now, where do I stand on this? Here's how it breaks down:

1) Its been determined that Derek wasn't wearing a seatbelt while driving to school. Now I have something I say for people like that "I have no sympathy if you're an idiot and decided not to buckle up before you drove off." There really is no excuse for that. Derek was supposedly ejected from his seat for not buckling up. Its horrible to say but we all think like that. Try saying it after someone you know gets in a car accident and gets ejected. Its something that if you preached, you can't go against with out being an idiot yourself. Don't double-standard this. You're just a hypocrite if you do this and you know it. Since I have said this, I can't really feel completely sorry for him since I knew it was bound to happen. Even if this was one of the few times, or first time, he ever drove without a seat belt one, it was one time too many and unfortunatly, he paid the consenquence. It sounds cruel but its the plain truth. Add that to the fact that there was no other driver involved, yeah. It was his fault. Now, I heard a rumor that he had taken a few shots before driving but I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt there. If he did, then its another ball mark.

2) I didn't really know Derek that well. Hell, I thought his name was Eric! Now, Excel is a small school and we usually have around 150 people max enrolled in school at one time, and now we bearly have 90 people enrolled and not 400 like the news report states. Since it was a small school, you pretty much knew everyone there to some degree, unless they were in a different block then you. Derek was one of those people who you know but you don't really know. If you don't understand that then here's an explanation, I knew him since he was in my class and liked to talk to a bunch of people but I didn't talk to him. So yeah, since I don't really know him, how can I be completely sad? I can't and its that simple. I can be sad but I can't blubbering since I really didn't know him. Yes, its sad but other then him being a fellow classmate, whom I didn't know that well, I have very little reason to breakdown over this. For the ones who do, my sympathy goes to them. I'll feel sorry for them as a few I do know a bit better. That's about all I can do.